Reserved they say
Shy
Or stuck up
A snob
A loner
A bit weird
Or a bit boring
Labels
Without actually coming up
And asking me
About my experience
From the inside
Come and sit down
One on one
With an open mind
And we can discuss
How things really are
Shy?
This is neuroscience and biology
A sensitive nervous system
And evolutionary hard-wired responses
To quickly firing neurons
A room full of people
Is too much stimulus
Brain and body short circuit
Disengaging
Momentarily paralysed
Too intense
In new situations
Seeming absent and shut off
As my brain unconsciously analyses
All possibilities
Every angle
Filtering through layers of memories
Cerebral tangles
Building up a big picture
Before it responds
What has timid and fearful got to do with it?
Or snobbish and aloof?
Labels based on zero understanding
I have set out on adventures
Gone to unknown places
Mixed with completely different cultures
I do not fear human connection
I have forged my own way
Going against the grain
Following my own sense of right and wrong
I do not lack more self confidence than the next person
Shy?
This is not a character flaw
It’s physiology
Humiliated by their labels
I am not a frightened little girl
Without an opinion
Nor a disinterested bystander
With nothing to say
Nor a contemptuous snob
Who doesn’t want to share
I am an introvert.
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