Authentic relating
“I don’t know how to be myself around others…”
“I don’t know how to deal with conflict…”
“How do I create more intimacy with my partner?”
“How to let go of an unhealthy relationship when there are so many emotional ties?”
“Why do I always find myself surrounded by the wrong people?”
“Am I in an abusive relationship?”
“Why do I seem to always push people away?”
“I’m scared of opening up to love and intimacy, I can’t bring myself to trust another…”
“How do I practise non-monogamy in an ethical way?”
“How do I create fulfilling human interactions if I am an introvert?”
What is authentic relating ?
When studying and working with the emotional system, it soon becomes clear that emotions and feelings cannot exist without points of view and perspectives, without roles and positions, without colours and culture, in other words, without relationships.
Relationships with ourselves, relationships with things and concepts, and relationships with other people.
Relating is about how we interact and connect with others, through our outward behaviours as well as our inner thoughts and emotions. It’s how we perceive and respond to the world, and the stories we tell ourselves about our experiences.
A relationship can be a limiting cage, or a supportive structure…
The nature of relating is fluid, but we often find ourselves stuck in patterns, particularly from childhood or cultural influences. We live out roles from the past and create a fixed ideal of how things should be instead of expressing who we are today.
To make things more complicated, our social structure is evolving at an increasingly faster pace. Instead of the traditional community or the family relationship, there are now countless ways in which to exchange, connect and commit. This can bring on a lot of confusion as we try to find our place and identity, and adapt to ever more complex situations.
Authentic relating is about knowing who you are and where you stand amongst others, noticing and embracing their differences, yet remaining true to yourself and your values.
It is a balancing act between “me” and “you”, the space where these two overlap and how you choose to define it.
It is a constant redefining of boundaries, a flow between joining and separating, giving and receiving, and it is open, honest communication.
How do YOU choose to structure your commitments?
With whom do you choose to share trust and intimacy? Friendship? Sexuality? Everyday living?
How do you adapt this as your life changes and evolves?
This is about bringing awareness to relating. Exploring where you feel stuck in your relationships, what ways of relating may be holding you back, and developing new perspectives and behaviours that will encourage interactions that bring out the best in you, that provide support and stability, that lift you up and make you grow.
What might that look like?
- Better ability to communicate and connect with others
- Ability to navigate conflict and grow through it
- More self assertiveness, more ability to say no, and to ask for what you want
- Better understanding of interpersonal boundaries
- More trust and less desire to control in a close relationship
- Better able to identify and avoid unhealthy relationships
- Taking care of your own emotional needs instead of depending on another
- Able to let go of old relationship patterns
Using embodiment to work with authentic relating
What is embodiment ?
It’s an approach that focuses on increasing your awareness over the physical and emotional sensations in your body, and gaining understanding over your inner mechanisms in relation to the issue you want to solve. We use sensorial experiences such as breath work, movement, bodywork, sound, interactive activities, words and images so that you can explore your inner landscape, make a link between your body-mind-emotions, and cultivate new ways of thinking, feeling and acting.
How can it help in authentic relating ?
Because relating is all about our emotional and behavioural responses to the world around us, our relationship styles are ingrained in our body as well as our mind. Our body language tells us a lot about how we position ourselves next to others, our past experiences and how we view the world. Therefore tapping into the body can be more powerful than understanding our behaviours through logic alone, and regular somatic practices are extremely helpful in developing and reinforcing new behaviours in our interactions.
Using embodiment principles to explore and transform inner realities
Emotional intelligence
Teach your logical brain, your conscious awareness, to become fluent in the language of your emotional brain, in order to navigate between the two systems and integrate them more effectively into your life. Cultivate an understanding of your own internal mechanisms, and develop the ability to acknowledge, interpret, and express your emotions appropriately, using their wisdom to guide you.
Authentic relating
Cultivate a sense of who you are and where you stand amongst others, noticing and embracing their differences, yet remaining true to yourself and your values. Explore where you feel stuck in your relationships, what ways of relating hold you back, and develop new perspectives and behaviours that will encourage interactions that bring out the best in you, that provide support and stability, that lift you up and make you grow.
Conscious sexuality
Explore and discover the many possibilities of healing, self understanding, and personal fulfilment that can be found within your own sexuality. Whether it’s learning about your body, developing a fulfilling intimate life with your partner, developing your orgasmic potential, or cultivating self awareness, learn how to bring your bodily experience to the center of your attention, and work with your own inner mechanisms.
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